The Fear of Domestic Violence
Fear is a negative emotion which makes a person vulnerable to many other things like mental and physical problems which leads him/her in the loop of darkness. Well, there are many kinds of fear but some of them begin from home.
You may have feared walking the empty streets at night probably thinking of rape or eve teasing. You must have skipped work since you know that your boss is molesting you some way or the other. But did you ever think that your home can become a danger den because you are tortured physically, mentally and sexually? Well, when your own home becomes a nightmare for you then it is the birth of domestic violence, which has inflexed a fear in you. This fear affects you as an individual, threats your identity and withholds your self-esteem in a cage.
Meaning of Domestic Violence
In the books, one can define domestic violence as a disturbing behavior in the form of physical injuries or abuse which is done by one person towards another who are living together in one place. This is generally found among the married couples for many other social evils that are persisting in the society and atrocities that make domestic violence exist. This is contagious to the whole family and affects them gravely.
How one develops the fear – the probable reasons?
Domestic Violence starts from a point when an individual tries to exert domination on their partner through violence or abuse and at one point the harm done exceeds the limit of toleration affecting the victim physically and mentally. Sometimes the cases are so worst that the victim suffers from near to death experience.
Well, it is not normal behaviour from the perspective of both who commits the violence as well as the person who tolerates it. The domestic violence gets very complex in a situation like marital abuse, children’s violence on their parents or some other form where a lot of emotional and societal pressure is observed.
In Indian society marriage is sacred and women are entitled to serve her husband rightfully to dignify herself as a good wife and a perfect daughter in law. However when her husband commits domestic violence and inculcates a fear in his wife, then probably the fear has made its mark and the violence will get worse with each passing day. Some reasons which inculcate the fear of domestic violence are:
- Psychological Pressure on the victim to keep silence about the domestic abuse or else they are threatened to be killed or their family member will be harmed.
- The cycle of violence: Once the victim is beaten or abused, they somehow tolerate and keep tolerating because they have already made it their habit to be abused.
- Less in power and authority: this is in a marital relationship when the husband is more dominating and powerful and he abuses his wife who considers him godlike.
- Fear of society demolishing the victim: because of the outside worldly pressure, the victim gives into the domestic violence because one’s self-respect, as well as their families’ name/reputation, is at stake.
- Situational Reasons also induces fear wherein the victim feels that facing the fear will probably make them lose their children in case of couples, lose on economic dependence, social boycotting of the victim because of a failed marriage.
- Emotional influences which make the victim empathetic to the abuser believes for a change in their behaviour in the near future.
Signs of Fear of Domestic Violence:
- Chronic fear when the victim faces the abuser
- Trembling, lack of concentration on work, Low self-esteem
- Constant psychological pressure to deal with domestic violence
- Social isolation where the victim almost cuts down on being social as they have to answer questions related to their abuse or wounds on their body because of violence.
- Being grateful to the abuser for even minimal favor
- Feel like locked up in the relationship where you neither step out of it nor stand by it because of domestic violence.
Facts About the Domestic Violence:
- Sometimes the victims lack education, knowledge or sensibility and therefore surrenders into the violence
- Domestic Violence is not just physical abuse, it can be verbal, psychological or sexual.
- Domestic violence is often not committed by one person on another, it can be between two people or more committing it. E.g.: When the in-laws abuse the daughter in law for male child, dowry or female infanticide.
- Domestic Violence is an outcome of other issues like dowry, male ego, Alcoholism/drug influence, mentally disturbed abuser, official tension, displacement of anger outburst and competition with colleagues on the matter of macho factor.
- The victims often are a hostage or entrapped into the loop of domestic violence.
- The victims themselves keep silence out of fear and therefore they do not report the case and many of them are dormant or unsolved.
- There are many suicides reported because of domestic violence.
- The statistics say that the victims of domestic violence are majorly females/women.
Story of Katherine – Domestic Violence Survivor
Katherine, a young housewife, and mother of two children was a victim of domestic violence. She stayed in the abusive relationship hoping her husband would change, however things turned really bad when her husband became very controlling and also started getting violent towards children. Katherine took help of NGO and fought against the terror. She was terribly wounded in the relationship.
How to overcome this fear?
- Healthy self-talk will help you dwell deep inside yourself, will let you understand what exactly the relationship is giving and how much it is taking away from you. This self-talk is an initial start point which will help you take another step.
- Either face the abuser or share the problem with your family member/loved ones. Take their advice only if you think is viable in your situation.
- To overcome the fear, let the fear out. Occupy your mind in fighting the issue rather than surrendering to it. Search for an NGO/Counsellor through newspaper or internet and talk to them on phone on the issues you are facing.
- Develop confidence to face the abuser, either stop them or raise your voice because to solve the problem all you have to do is face it. Make a move, face the abuser with equal strength, this is will help you to overcome the fear.
Well, this problem is a serious issue which has rooted all over the world. The victim faces a lot of difficulties when they are in an abusive relationship, it becomes difficult to face the world and the people in the house. Every moment seems like a fearful experience. However, this fear is attached to a person and to overcome it one must have the courage to face it. Therefore the fear of domestic violence must be reported and solved.
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